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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Posthumously-Conceived Children Get No Benefits

The Supreme Court ruled that a set of twins conceived with frozen sperm through in vitro fertilization 18 months after the father's death are not eligible for Social Security survivor benefits. What do you think?

  • "In that case, I might as well defrost all that sperm I’ve been banking for my future widow and use it now."

    Jordan Geter Lightning-Rod Erector
  • "I thought it in poor taste that Justice Scalia pointed out that they're not eligible for fatherly love either.”

    Denise Stumpf Ocularist
  • “I agree with the decision. Finding the right woman to raise a family with is hard enough as it is. If you let dead guys into the mix, I don’t have a chance.”

    Scott Hare Unemployed
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