Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Pot, Gay Marriage Now Legal In Washington

Same-sex marriage licenses became available in Washington state yesterday at 12:01 a.m., and at the same time, a voter-backed law decriminalizing the recreational use of marijuana took effect. What do you think?

  • “That’s why at midnight I scooted over the border to Idaho, where things still make some sense.”

    Rolando Galiana Enamel Dipper
  • “A lot of people’s lives in that state just got a whole lot better. Makes me sick.”

    Gillian Manifold Systems Analyst
  • “It’s historic, but if you know your state math, Arizona always cancels out Washington.”

    Brett Pike Foreclosure Clerk
More Videos


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.