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Veteran Told What Offends Him

WASHINGTON—In the wake of protests in which some players knelt during the national anthem prior to this week’s NFL games, a U.S. Army veteran has been informed that the acts offended him.

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.
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Pot, Gay Marriage Now Legal In Washington

Same-sex marriage licenses became available in Washington state yesterday at 12:01 a.m., and at the same time, a voter-backed law decriminalizing the recreational use of marijuana took effect. What do you think?

  • “That’s why at midnight I scooted over the border to Idaho, where things still make some sense.”

    Rolando Galiana Enamel Dipper
  • “A lot of people’s lives in that state just got a whole lot better. Makes me sick.”

    Gillian Manifold Systems Analyst
  • “It’s historic, but if you know your state math, Arizona always cancels out Washington.”

    Brett Pike Foreclosure Clerk

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