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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
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Pre-Millennium Tension

With less than a year to go before the dawn of a new millennium, doomsayers are predicting everything from a global computer collapse to Armageddon. What do you think about the growing Y2K anxiety?
  • "You mean, in less than a year, the damned will be carried off to the sulfurous pits of hell by hideous, moth-winged reptiles straight out of a Hieronymus Bosch triptych? Cool."

    Jennifer Voss Teacher
  • "Technically, since Christ was actually born in 4 B.C., the millennium has already begun, and it is now 2003. So any self-respecting Y2K freak would have immolated himself back in '96."

    Ted McGlothlin Systems Analyst
  • "All I know is, I'm gonna be so hung over on Jan. 1, 2000, I'm not even gonna give a shit if the rivers run red with blood."

    Fred Davalillo Custodian
  • "In the next millennium, there will no longer be prejudice against gays. There will be space-prejudice against space-gays."

    Joan Egan School Psychologist
  • "Pre-millennial tension, huh? Whenever my wife gets that, she bloats up like a big sow."

    Ronald Chance Sales Consultant
  • "In preparation for the coming Apocalypse, I went out and bought a waterbed, which should hold about 300 gallons of vanilla pudding."

    Eugene Amaro Rental Agent

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