adBlockCheck

Sports

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
End Of Section
  • More News

Pregame Prayer

Citing separation of church and state, a Texas judge recently banned students at a Galveston high school from praying before home football games. The case is being appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court. What do you think about pregame prayer?
  • "Football players need to learn to rely on their skills as athletes, not on the aid of omnipotent deities."

    Patrice Thomas Student
  • "So these people want to pray? Before a football game? In Texas? Hmm... something here just doesn't add up."

    Jeanette Loesser Telemarketer
  • "But what if both teams pray to God for help? That's just putting the Lord in a really awkward position, if you ask me."

    Kevin Whittaker Electrician
  • "I think it's fine, as long as it's Christian prayers. Anything else is un-American."

    Victor Davis Systems Analyst
  • "Jesus will lead the Fitchburg Spartans to victory, just as surely as He made me not gay."

    Omar Tulin File Clerk
  • "Before all of my son's football games, I say a little prayer that he won't fuck up and that I won't have to beat him for it lat

    Andre Simmons Banker

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close