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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Pregnant And Infirm Given First H1N1 Vaccine

The Centers for Disease Control announced that vaccinations for the H1N1 virus would be given first to pregnant women and adults with compromised immune systems. What do you think?
  • "Yes! I love being an AIDS patient."

    Mike Collins Systems Analyst
  • "Great. Another pregnancy I have to fake.”

    Cheryl Cannucciari Jack-Strip Assembler
  • "As annoyed as I am that pregnant women will receive the vaccine before me, I'm willing to accept it as an adequate trade-off for being able to ride the Tilt-a-Whirl.”

    Vin Cocca Insurance Claims Adjustor
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