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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Prescription Painkiller Abuse Up

According to a Department of Health and Human Services study, emergency room visits for recreational use of opioid painkillers went up 111 percent from 2004 to 2008. What do you think?

  • "I broke a lot of men's hearts in the mid-2000s."

    Gwenn Furnier Systems Analyst
  • "Not in my household. Here, you take too many opioid painkillers, you lie there until you've learned your lesson."

    Rebecca Buxton Kiln Loader
  • "Used to be you only went to the emergency room after being in a motorcycle accident."

    William Bruce Lens Polisher

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