adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

President Curbing NSA Spying

In an effort to address citizens’ privacy and civil liberty concerns, President Obama announced today that intelligence agencies would now be required to obtain a court’s permission to access metadata from telephones. What do you think?

  • “As long as the government has to ask permission from the government first, everything should be okay.”

    Stacey Simmons Bacteriologist
  • “Now phone conversations won’t feel as thrilling.”

    Bruce Greenwood Cushion Filler
  • “Finally, me and my terrorist buddies can get back to business.”

    Andre Dern Systems Analyst

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close