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Politics

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

What You Need To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline

Construction is currently stalled on the Dakota Access Pipeline, which would connect North Dakota’s Bakken Shale development to oil tank farms in Illinois, by protests led by members of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe. The Onion provides answers to key questions about the project.

What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

With two months until the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are wondering what his term will look like and what his administration might accomplish. The Onion answers some common questions about Trump’s upcoming presidency

James Comey Quickly Reopens Clinton Email Investigation For Few More Minutes

‘Nope, Looks Like It’s All Good Here,’ Says FBI Director

WASHINGTON—In a letter addressed to Congress that was quickly followed by a second message retracting the first, FBI director James Comey is said to have briefly reopened the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails for several more minutes Friday.

Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

WASHINGTON—In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race.
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Presidential Pay Hike

At a hearing on Capitol Hill last week, Congress was urged to approve a spending bill which would double the president's salary to $400,000 per year, effective January 2001. What do you think?
  • "I think it's a bad idea. We want our presidents to be motivated by a lust for power, not money."

    Maxine Banks Museum Guide
  • "What? A raise? For the president? No! Now get out of my office!"

    Ralph Payne Technical Writer
  • "The president should get raises like everyone else: a 35-cent increase after every 16-month period, depending on a good performance review."

    Bart Cordova Lab Assistant
  • "Doubling the president's salary? Sounds risky. That kind of money could corrupt a man."

    Debbie Raiford Physical Therapist
  • "If the job only pays $200,000, a lot of qualified candidates might opt to take a job that pays more money. Like, for example, owning a county-wide chain of gourmet-popcorn shops."

    Steve Coburn Systems Analyst
  • "I refuse to be president for anything less than 800 grand. Take it or leave it. It's your loss, America."

    Patrick Hilleary Groundskeeper

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