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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Press Allowed To Cover Return of Dead Soldiers

For the first time in nearly 20 years, the media was permitted to witness a casket containing the body of a dead soldier arrive on U.S. soil. What do you think?
  • “Does this mean the press will be able to see alive soldiers returning to America sometime soon?”

    Helen Steuben Willow Worker
  • “Well, I guess this makes pictures of the unemployed slightly less depressing.”

    Paul Sabers Mechanical Engineer
  • "I’m glad they’re doing it, but it’s a shame that the question-and-answer part didn't go so hot."

    Tony Koch Systems Analyst

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