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'Pride And Prejudice' Turns 200

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Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
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'Pride And Prejudice' Turns 200

The classic Jane Austen novel Pride and Prejudice, which follows the courtship of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in 19th-century English high society, turned 200 years old yesterday and was marked with theatrical performances, readings, and other celebrations. What do you think?

  • “No kidding. I’m hungover as shit.”

    Ralph Amos
    Ethyl Blender
  • “I’m going to read that as soon as I’m done with Kill Shot by Vince Flynn.”

    Rob Babbs
    Unemployed
  • “That’s nothing. The Bible is over a million years old and it’s got all sorts of magic and goblins in it.”

    Maria Swain
    Crossbow Maker

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