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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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'Pride And Prejudice' Turns 200

The classic Jane Austen novel Pride and Prejudice, which follows the courtship of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in 19th-century English high society, turned 200 years old yesterday and was marked with theatrical performances, readings, and other celebrations. What do you think?

  • “No kidding. I’m hungover as shit.”

    Ralph Amos Ethyl Blender
  • “I’m going to read that as soon as I’m done with Kill Shot by Vince Flynn.”

    Rob Babbs Unemployed
  • “That’s nothing. The Bible is over a million years old and it’s got all sorts of magic and goblins in it.”

    Maria Swain Crossbow Maker

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