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Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Protecting Chelsea's Privacy

A recent People cover story about Chelsea Clinton prompted an angry response from President Clinton and the First Lady, who have shielded their daughter from media scrutiny throughout their time in Washington. What do you think about the First Daughter's right to privacy?
  • "I applaud President Clinton for taking a bold stand against actions that, while not technically illegal, leave a certain bad taste in the mouths of many people."

    James Hoge Civil Engineer
  • "Hey, I don't hear Julia Roberts' parents bitching."

    Joan Foster Speech Therapist
  • "Which one is Chelsea, again—the cat or the chocolate lab?"

    Duane Abercrombie Mechanic
  • "Chelsea should not be on the cover of People unless we find out she had some hot lesbian affair a la Amy Carter."

    Leonard Morris Systems Analyst
  • "I can't believe People just came right out and revealed that Chelsea is coping well with her father's troubles."

    Michael Worley Telemarketer
  • "As a Stanford undergrad, I feel all this attention on Chelsea is wrong. The media should be focusing on my ex-roommate Jill Dwyer, a scheming bitch who stole my boyfriend and still owes me $30 for the electric bill."

    Tracey Pollard Student

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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