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Protecting The Police

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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race
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Protecting The Police

In the wake of an ever-growing number of shootings of police officers, including last week's L.A. bank-robbery shootout, debate is raging over how to better protect our nation's law enforcement officials. What do you think?
  • "I feel bad for the cops. From now on, I'm going to let them beat me a little harder."

    Jerry Osgood Building Contractor
  • "In preparation for an armed assault by a police officer, I reinforced my ass with a baking sheet."

    Warren Browder Science Teacher
  • "We need to protect our nation's law enforcement officials at any cost. Except those fucking meter maids—let the bitches fry."

    Hugh Kulwicki Chef
  • "Any police officer who's in trouble should just call 911."

    Dana Bern Orthodontist
  • "I think our police officers would be safer if they didn't wander around such bad neighborhoods at all hours of the night."

    Linda Lewis Systems Analyst
  • "The only way policemen can be saved is if they accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior."

    Bill Reuschel Computer Programmer

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