Protestants Not Majority In U.S. For First Time

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Vol 48 Issue 41

Taylor Harris

Leukemia sufferer Taylor Harris passed away Sunday afternoon, mere seconds after the Minnesota Vikings and the Make-A-Wish Foundation fulfilled the 9-year-old’s dream of fielding an NFL kickoff.

Secretary Of Interior Decks Smart-Ass Buffalo

LIMON, CO—Saying the 1,800-pound bovine had it coming, Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar decked a wise-ass bison during his recent visit to the Prairie Ridge Buffalo Farm, sources confirmed Saturday. The prick buffalo reportedly exhibited a shit...

Defense Secretary Warns Of Cyber Terrorism

Warning that Internet worms and malware could devastate the U.S. power grid, transportation network, and financial system, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta urged the nation to invest heavily in cyber security to avoid an “electronic Pearl Harbor....

Outfit Just Screams 'Police Officer'

Mr. Autumn Man walks down the street with a cup of coffee, wearing sweater over a plaid collared shirt, the seed of World War III is planted in a Beijing Middle School gym class, and the nation did not see Mark Wahlberg's sex change coming.
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Protestants Not Majority In U.S. For First Time

According to a new study, the share of Americans identifying as Protestant is less than 50 percent for the first time on record, having fallen from more than two-thirds of the population just 40 years ago. What do you think?

  • “It’s devastating to think that this correlates with a rise in people identifying as ‘spiritual.’”

    Marcel Booth
    Systems Analyst
  • “It just goes to show you, give us Catholics 500 years and we’ll get the job done.”

    Polly Denaro
    Clock Polisher
  • “Well, shit, there go our chances for a Protestant president.”

    Graham Symonds
    Lawn Mower Mechanic
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