Psychiatric Tome Getting Long-Awaited Update

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Vol 46 Issue 07

Local Snowplow Guy Ruins Winter Olympics

VANCOUVER—The 2010 Winter Olympics were postponed indefinitely Friday morning after snowplow operator Dominic Wondolowski arrived on the scene Thursday night, a snowplow affixed to his 1994 Ford F-150, and proceeded to clear out nearly all of the snow from every Olympic venue.

Construction Restricts Daytona 500 Traffic To One Lane

DAYTONA BEACH, FL—Construction crews working to patch the rippled and broken asphalt of Daytona International Speedway reduced traffic to a single lane during last Sunday's Daytona 500, resulting in average speeds of 35 miles per hour.

Nate Robinson

The high-scoring point guard is now the first three-time NBA Slam-Dunk Contest winner. Is he any good?

Lawmaker Seeks To Ban U.S. Currency

Mike Pitts, a representative in the South Carolina legislature, has proposed a law that would replace dollars with gold and silver in his state. What...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Psychiatric Tome Getting Long-Awaited Update

A draft of the fifth edition of the Diagnostic And Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders (DSM) has been posted for online review before its publication in 2013. What do you think?
  • "If they change which planets men and women are from, I'll be pissed."

    Derek Neville
    Systems Analyst
  • "I still recognize the DSM-I as the premier psychiatric-disorder classification text. Women who don't pin-curl their hair before bedtime are suffering from an acute antisocial personality disorder that requires immediate electroshock treatment."

    Heather Porter
    Scuba Instructor
  • "Bottom line: Is this going to make it easier or harder for me to get sleeping pills?"

    Eddie Nocentelli
    Upholstery Repairer
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