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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Psychiatric Tome Getting Long-Awaited Update

A draft of the fifth edition of the Diagnostic And Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders (DSM) has been posted for online review before its publication in 2013. What do you think?
  • "If they change which planets men and women are from, I'll be pissed."

    Derek Neville Systems Analyst
  • "I still recognize the DSM-I as the premier psychiatric-disorder classification text. Women who don't pin-curl their hair before bedtime are suffering from an acute antisocial personality disorder that requires immediate electroshock treatment."

    Heather Porter Scuba Instructor
  • "Bottom line: Is this going to make it easier or harder for me to get sleeping pills?"

    Eddie Nocentelli Upholstery Repairer
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