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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Public Funding For Stadiums

Taxpayers and politicians in a number of U.S. cities are deeply divided over proposed multi-million-dollar, taxpayer-funded sports stadiums. What do you think?
  • "If we don't build stadiums, then the roads won't be clogged with cars and the bars won't be filled with drunk sports fans. Then where would we be?"

    Karl Orff Computer Programmer
  • "If they're going to build a stadium for the guys, they had better build something for us women, like a parking lot to wait in."

    Barbara Christiansen Florist
  • "I'm voting for the new stadium in my city. Not because I'm a sports fan, but because I can't get enough of peeing in a trough."

    Matthew Arnett Roofer
  • "I don't even want to know how much of the Gilbert City budget went toward repaving the tennis courts at the park."

    Warren Wyler Loan Officer
  • "I don't know much about stadiums, but I'll tell you what I do think: I know it's highly unorthodox to say this, but I really think the Pack might have what it takes to go all the way this year."

    Russell Innes Systems Analyst
  • "How can a child be expected to learn to read in a city with a 30-year-old stadium?"

    Stacie sanchez Psychologist

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