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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Public Funding For Stadiums

Taxpayers and politicians in a number of U.S. cities are deeply divided over proposed multi-million-dollar, taxpayer-funded sports stadiums. What do you think?
  • "If we don't build stadiums, then the roads won't be clogged with cars and the bars won't be filled with drunk sports fans. Then where would we be?"

    Karl Orff Computer Programmer
  • "If they're going to build a stadium for the guys, they had better build something for us women, like a parking lot to wait in."

    Barbara Christiansen Florist
  • "I'm voting for the new stadium in my city. Not because I'm a sports fan, but because I can't get enough of peeing in a trough."

    Matthew Arnett Roofer
  • "I don't even want to know how much of the Gilbert City budget went toward repaving the tennis courts at the park."

    Warren Wyler Loan Officer
  • "I don't know much about stadiums, but I'll tell you what I do think: I know it's highly unorthodox to say this, but I really think the Pack might have what it takes to go all the way this year."

    Russell Innes Systems Analyst
  • "How can a child be expected to learn to read in a city with a 30-year-old stadium?"

    Stacie sanchez Psychologist
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