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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Putin Nominated For Nobel Peace Prize

Saying that he stopped western nations from launching an air strike on Syria, a Russian advocacy group known as The International Academy of Spiritual Unity and Cooperation of Peoples of the World has nominated Vladimir Putin for the Nobel Peace Prize. What do you think?

  • “If they gave it to Dag Hammarskjöld, they’ll give it to anyone.”

    Nadia Wilkins Glider Pilot
  • “I’m sure there will be objections from some people. But mostly just from the families of the people he killed.”

    Rico Gutierrez Polo Player
  • “It would go pretty nicely with his Super Bowl ring.”

    Aaron Kelly Unemployed

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