Qaddafi Regime Ends

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Vol 47 Issue 34

Terrelle Pryor

The Raiders acquired the controversy-ridden Ohio State quarterback in the NFL supplementary draft. Is he any good?

NFL Fans Looking Forward To Season Of Touchbacks

NEW YORK—The National Football League's decision to move kickoffs to the 35 yard line has football fans across the nation anticipating a 2011 season full of dramatic, tension-producing touchbacks, league sources report.

Novelist Has Whole Shitty World Plotted Out

GLOUCESTER, MA—As he neared completion this week on his latest novel, By The Water's Edge, author Edward Milligan marveled aloud to reporters how he was able to flesh out, in meticulous detail, every single corner of his book's vast and stunn...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Qaddafi Regime Ends

Libyan rebels had captured most of Tripoli Monday, spelling the end of dictator Muammar Qaddafi's reign. What do you think?

  • "Yeah! We did it! Didn't we?"

    Dominic Heriot
    Running Rigger
  • "This is a victory for the Libyan people. Just look at the jubilant crowds on the streets of Tripoli. I assume the women are enjoying quiet celebrations at home."

    Amy Lethbridge-Stewart
    Glass Tinter
  • "I’m tired of countries not having the courtesy to contact people to reschedule their tourism-surgery before they have a revolution."

    Keith Shaw
    Pattern Hand
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