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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.
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Rallies Against Zimmerman Verdict Held Across U.S.

Rallies were held in cities nationwide yesterday and today, as thousands chanted, marched, and wore hooded sweatshirts in protest of the acquittal of George Zimmerman in the shooting death of unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. What do you think?

  • “I’m sure this would have blown over by now if they just let George Zimmerman show up at one of the rallies to tell his side.”

    Teresa Aiello Towel Sewer
  • “They need to spread their message far and wide. I suggest talking to Mike Bean and the Bean Crew weekday mornings on KWRX.”

    Leonard Walsh Tool And Die Maker
  • “Jeez, people are still mad about that stuff?”

    Claude Greenman Systems Analyst

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