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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.
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Rand Paul Filibusters For 13 Hours To Protest Drones

Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) held up the confirmation process of President Barack Obama’s CIA nominee by filibustering for nearly 13 hours, protesting the administration’s failure to rule out drone strikes against American citizens on U.S. soil. What do you think?

  • “By hour six, I was like, ‘Okay, Rand, we get it. Killing Americans is wrong.’”

    Josh Hyland Ring Maker
  • “He must have had a really energizing breakfast.”

    Kirk Seagrave Unemployed
  • “I don’t think I care about anything enough to stand for 13 hours.”

    Stephanie Dolan Medical Physicist

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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

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