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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Rand Paul Filibusters For 13 Hours To Protest Drones

Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) held up the confirmation process of President Barack Obama’s CIA nominee by filibustering for nearly 13 hours, protesting the administration’s failure to rule out drone strikes against American citizens on U.S. soil. What do you think?

  • “By hour six, I was like, ‘Okay, Rand, we get it. Killing Americans is wrong.’”

    Josh Hyland Ring Maker
  • “He must have had a really energizing breakfast.”

    Kirk Seagrave Unemployed
  • “I don’t think I care about anything enough to stand for 13 hours.”

    Stephanie Dolan Medical Physicist
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