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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Reactors Contaminate Groundwater

Two nuclear reactors, Indian Point near New York and the Braidwood facility near Chicago, have released radioactive tritium into the groundwater. What do you think?
  • "Aren't scientists excited to discover new species? Well, here's their chance!"

    Holly Page Systems Analyst
  • "I think we're all thinking the same thing: How will the nuclear power companies cope with this setback?"

    Scott Duddy Short-Order Cook
  • "It's a lot of nothing. A leak was found at a facility in my area last year and my conjoined quadruplets turned out just fine."

    Nate McConarty Corrections Officer

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