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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Reality TV Show To Send Winner To Space

NBC announced that producer Mark Burnett and Virgin Galactic founder Richard Branson will create a new reality TV elimination show called Space Race, with the winner earning a flight on Virgin Galactic’s space tourism vehicle SpaceShipTwo. What do you think?

  • “Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather go to the bottom of the sea.”

    Gregory Markinson Monument Setter
  • “I love reality shows because they accurately depict the world I live in.”

    Bill LaPaglia Systems Analyst
  • “Can the winner stay there for good? There’s nothing for me down here.”

    Carmen Kahn Endodontist
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