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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Reality TV's Integrity Questioned

Critics and viewers are beginning to question the integrity of reality-television shows, saying that some of them may be scripted or fixed. What do you think?
  • "Yes, definitely, at this crucial time in history, television shows are where Americans should demand accountability."

    Elaine Schoor Massage Therapist
  • "Scandals at reality shows? Next you're going to tell me that Michael Ian Black didn't actually love the ‘80s."

    David Hatton Landscaper
  • "You can't tell me that a show as choppy and haphazard as Two And A Half Men is scripted."

    John DeMuth Lawyer

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