Recession Actually Started Last Year

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Vol 44 Issue 49

Shitload Of Math Due Monday

OLD BRIDGE, NJ—Students dreaded spending all day Sunday with some retarded math book, especially one that doesn't have any of the freaking answers in the back.
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Recession Actually Started Last Year

The National Bureau of Economic Research announced that we are in an economic recession that began in December of last year. What do you think?
  • "Did they figure out when it was ending?"

    Maria Flores
    Systems Analyst
  • "Wait, wait, say that again. I want to do the dramatic taking-off-my-glasses-while-saying-'My God' thing."

    Will Fischer
    Social Studies Teacher
  • "Yeah, but when did the economy officially transition from recession to royal clusterfuck?"

    Charlie Koe
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