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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Recreational Viagra Use

According to a recent study, recreational use of Viagra is on the rise among younger men who don't suffer from impotence. What do you think?
  • "Is having sex for 48 hours straight some kind of a game to these people?"

    Rudy Garcia Housekeeper
  • "At last, a medical miracle to eliminate the 3 percent of the time 20-year-olds don't have erections."

    Douglas Hirtz Counselor
  • "The young people should just stick to the marijuana and the goofballs and let their elders have their Viagra."

    Lawrence Hardin Systems Analyst
  • "This is what happens when the increasingly conservative young people go emulating Bob Dole."

    Rhonda Hansen Photographer
  • "Wow, there's an illicit market for these pills? And all this time, I've foolishly been using them to try to satisfy my wife."

    William Knotz Rental Clerk
  • "If kids today just pop a pill every time they want an erection, how are they going to learn valuable pussy-eating skills?"

    Jane Setzer Set Designer
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