Red Vines Recalled Due To High Lead Content

Top Headlines

Recent News

Goodwill Executives Arrested After Years Of Skimming Donated Goods Off Top

ROCKVILLE, MD—In what authorities are calling one of the most wide-reaching and deplorable cases of embezzlement in recent history, seven executives at Goodwill Industries International were arrested Thursday for allegedly skimming used clothing, old furniture, small appliances, and thousands of other donated items from the charitable group.

Meteorologists Say Upcoming Hurricane Season To Be Permanent

SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Protection

  • Guards Gun Down Four Angels Escaping From Heaven

    THE HEAVENS—Killing four and critically wounding several others, armed guards dispatched from the Right Hand of God reportedly opened fire early Monday morning on a group of angels attempting to escape from heaven. One of the Eternal Kingdom’s...

Red Vines Recalled Due To High Lead Content

The manufacturer of Red Vines Black Licorice Twists recalled 16-ounce packages of the popular candy after the California Department of Public Health found they contained more than twice the amount of lead considered acceptable for young children. What do you think?

  • “No problem. I’ll just have my kid break each one in half before eating them.”

    Monica Newkirk
    Park Naturalist
  • “I hope the company quickly returns to the high standards of complete shit that one usually associates with Red Vines.”

    James Witt
    Art Conservator
  • “So you expect me to switch to Twizzlers? Fuck you.”

    Roz Belig
    Clip-On Sunglasses Assembler