adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
End Of Section
  • More News

Reese Witherspoon Arrested For Disorderly Conduct

While her husband was receiving a DUI Friday, Reese Witherspoon was arrested for disorderly conduct when she disobeyed officers’ orders to stay in the car and defiantly questioned whether they knew who she was, behavior she admitted she was “deeply embarrassed” by. What do you think?

  • “Who does she think she is? Renée fucking Zellweger?”

    Lance Sprague Microfilm Processor
  • “Since she sounds genuinely remorseful, I say we only viciously mock her until Thursday.”

    Jasper Perreira Keel Assembler
  • “The Reese Witherspoon downward spiral continues. That girl really needs some help.”

    Elizabeth Gawley Telemarketer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close