Reese Witherspoon Arrested For Disorderly Conduct

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Reese Witherspoon Arrested For Disorderly Conduct

While her husband was receiving a DUI Friday, Reese Witherspoon was arrested for disorderly conduct when she disobeyed officers’ orders to stay in the car and defiantly questioned whether they knew who she was, behavior she admitted she was “deeply embarrassed” by. What do you think?

  • “Who does she think she is? Renée fucking Zellweger?”

    Lance Sprague
    Microfilm Processor
  • “Since she sounds genuinely remorseful, I say we only viciously mock her until Thursday.”

    Jasper Perreira
    Keel Assembler
  • “The Reese Witherspoon downward spiral continues. That girl really needs some help.”

    Elizabeth Gawley