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Report: American Jews Becoming Less Religious

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

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WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.
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Report: American Jews Becoming Less Religious

According to a new report, the majority of American Jews now believe that being Jewish has more to do with ancestry and culture than religious beliefs, with 20 percent saying they don’t identify with any religion. What do you think?

  • “Another win for Jesus!”

    Theodore Penfield
    Piano Tuner
  • “Yeah, Rabbi Chaim Yehuda Krinsky has really been phoning it in lately.”

    Elise Stevens
    Mine Inspector
  • “We still get to hoist them up in chairs when they get married, right? Oh, phew, thank goodness.”

    Conrad Bancroft
    Chef

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