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Report: Anthrax Attacks Could Have Been Prevented

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PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

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Report: Anthrax Attacks Could Have Been Prevented

According to psychiatric records, the scientist believed to have been responsible for five anthrax-by-mail deaths in 2001 had numerous psychological issues, including an obsession with a sorority. What do you think?

  • "Darn, I was wrong. I thought for sure that it was done by a completely normal father of two in a stable, loving marriage."

    Dani Ridgeway Systems Analyst
  • "Was the FBI working on this case for exactly one second per week?"

    Rick Alvin Operating Engineer
  • "Jeez, they should've just let him in the sorority."

    Len Bateman Unemployed

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