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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Report: Astronauts Flew Drunk

An internal review at NASA revealed that some of their astronauts may have been drunk when they boarded shuttle missions into space. What do you think?
  • "This isn't a big deal. Astronauts are the best of the best. A drunk astronaut is as good as a sober commercial airline pilot."

    Al Payton Well Excavator
  • "Um, when are NASA astronauts not drunk? They're being shot into outer fucking space!"

    Doris Snyder Tobacconist
  • "I'm just glad I'm not an astronaut and that I can get a decent buzz on at work without everyone freaking out."

    Lee Davis Beekeeper

More from this section

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

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