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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.
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Report: Moderate Drinking May Not Affect Fetus

A Danish study suggests that drinking low to moderate amounts of alcohol in the early months of pregnancy may not be harmful to the baby. What do you think?

  • "That's good news for my pregnant lady wine-tasting business plan."

    Ed Guterman Entrepreneur
  • "Is nothing my mom's fault?"

    Jason DiCenzo Nozzle Worker
  • "That’s great to know, but let’s say I wanted to do some damage?"

    Nicole Ganz Unemployed

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