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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Report: More Couples Getting Social Media Prenups

According to a report by ABC News, more couples are opting to include social media clauses in their prenuptial agreements dictating what their spouses can and can’t post online, with some couples including fines as steep as $50,000 for posting an unflattering picture of their partner. What do you think?

  • “You can’t get any more legally precise than evaluating which pictures are good.”

    Ben McNairy Cable Line Installer
  • “It’s a great idea if you’re planning on marrying someone you sort of know but don’t have a good feeling about.”

    Neil Dunne Land Management Forester
  • “But we’re still allowed to embarrass ourselves on social media, right?”

    Missi Holbrook Kitchen Designer

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