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Report: More Parents Hiring Drug-Sniffing Dogs To Find Kids’ Pot

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Hillary Clinton Holds Infant Grandson Upside Down By Ankle In Front Of Convention Crowd

‘Family,’ Candidate Says

PHILADELPHIA—Seeking to make her case to the nation’s voters as she accepted her party’s presidential nomination Thursday night, Hillary Clinton reportedly began her headlining address at the Democratic National Convention by holding her infant grandson, Aidan, upside down by his ankle and firmly intoning the word “Family” in front of the assembled crowd.

Hillary Clinton Waiting In Wings Of Stage Since 6 A.M. For DNC Speech

PHILADELPHIA—Saying she arrived hours before any of the members of the production crew, sources confirmed Thursday that presidential nominee Hillary Clinton has been waiting in the wings of the Wells Fargo Center stage since six o’clock this morning to deliver her speech at the Democratic National Convention.

Depressed, Butter-Covered Tom Vilsack Enters Sixth Day Of Corn Bender After Losing VP Spot

WASHINGTON—Saying she has grown increasingly concerned about her husband’s mental and physical well-being since last Friday, Christie Vilsack, the wife of Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack, told reporters Thursday that the despondent, butter-covered cabinet member has entered the sixth day of a destructive corn bender after being passed over for the Democratic vice presidential spot.

Superfoods: Myth Vs. Fact

Though the media often heralds certain foods as cancer-fighting or immune-building, many of these claims don’t hold up to scientific scrutiny. The Onion separates the myths from the facts regarding so-called superfoods

Cannon Overshoots Tim Kaine Across Wells Fargo Center

PHILADELPHIA—Noting that the vice presidential nominee had been launched nearly 100 feet into the air during his entrance into the Democratic National Convention Wednesday night, sources reported that the cannon at the back of the Wells Fargo Center had accidentally overshot Tim Kaine across the arena, sending him crashing to the stage several dozen feet beyond the erected safety net.
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Report: More Parents Hiring Drug-Sniffing Dogs To Find Kids’ Pot

According to a report by NPR, a growing number of parents are hiring drug-sniffing dogs to search their teens’ bedrooms and find out if they are using illegal substances, leading to a rise in private businesses that train and rent out detection dogs. What do you think?

  • “I’d hire a dog to do all my parenting if I could.”

    Cooper Friedman Teleprompter Scripter
  • “Whatever happened to tricking your kid into letting you into her confidence by telling her some stories about how crazy the ’70s were, waiting for her to lower her guard, and then bringing the hammer down?”

    Mary-Ann Keller Pasta Maker
  • “I just wish there was an easier way to tell my children I love them.”

    Kurt Malone Software Upgrader

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