adBlockCheck

Recent News

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
End Of Section
  • More News

Report: 'SkyMall' Magazine May End Print Edition

Reports have surfaced that after losing $3.2 million last year, SkyMall magazine, the in-flight airline catalogue that sells electronics, home decor and novelty items, may stop printing catalogues and go web-only. What do you think?

  • "Call me old-fashioned, but I still like to shop in person at a local store for all my obscene crap."

    Deborah Claspell Community Theater Consultant
  • "Alright, how many ‘Summer Savannah’ Backyard Garden Lion Pedestals do I have to order to turn this thing around?"

    Ross Hammersmith Parking Garage Attendant
  • “That’s okay. I still have dozens of back issues I haven’t gotten through.”

    Jordan Boggs Loitering Ban Enforcer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close