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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
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Report: Tanning Beds Addictive

A study in the Archives Of Dermatology found that many people who regularly use indoor sunlamps meet the standard criteria for addiction. What do you think?

  • "Any finding that brings more caramel-colored cuties to my ER is valid by me."

    Emergency Doctor Jay Evans
  • "I used to be addicted to indoor tanning. The lotiony smell of the bed. The weird little glasses. The bunny stickers for the bikini area. No! Be strong. You're happy being pale, Carla. Don't chase that rabbit again…"

    Carla Sims Solvent-Plant Treater
  • "To the extent that the tanning bed is my favorite place to shoot up, they are correct."

    Cal Washam Systems Analyst
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