adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Republicans Take The Senate

In last Tuesday's midterm elections, Republicans retook the U.S. Senate, giving them control of both houses of Congress. What do you think?
  • "You know, they say people get the government they deserve, but I don't recall knife-raping any retarded nuns."

    Jared Andruss Shipping Clerk
  • "Don't blame me, I voted for the Green Party. Hee hee hee! Aren't I the dickens?"

    Melissa Kendall Student
  • "On the bright side, the Democrats did triumphantly retake the Kansas governorship."

    Thom Abboud Cashier
  • "I'm confused. It was my understanding that the Democrats had already rolled over and died after Sept. 11."

    Elaine Dorner Speech Pathologist
  • "The American people have spoken. And they have said, 'Duhhh, I likes chockomut ice cream.'"

    Rodney Garn Systems <br>Analyst
  • "Gosh, that election really sucked. Well, at least it'll probably be the last one we ever have."

    Raymond&nbsp;Thatcher Architect

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close