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Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Who's Fucking: Zack and Evan

Coworkers Zack and Evan talk about moving past first impressions, stepping out of your comfort zone, and understanding what it really means to fuck someone.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Republicans Take The Senate

In last Tuesday's midterm elections, Republicans retook the U.S. Senate, giving them control of both houses of Congress. What do you think?
  • "You know, they say people get the government they deserve, but I don't recall knife-raping any retarded nuns."

    Jared Andruss Shipping Clerk
  • "Don't blame me, I voted for the Green Party. Hee hee hee! Aren't I the dickens?"

    Melissa Kendall Student
  • "On the bright side, the Democrats did triumphantly retake the Kansas governorship."

    Thom Abboud Cashier
  • "I'm confused. It was my understanding that the Democrats had already rolled over and died after Sept. 11."

    Elaine Dorner Speech Pathologist
  • "The American people have spoken. And they have said, 'Duhhh, I likes chockomut ice cream.'"

    Rodney Garn Systems <br>Analyst
  • "Gosh, that election really sucked. Well, at least it'll probably be the last one we ever have."

    Raymond&nbsp;Thatcher Architect

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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