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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Researchers: Panda Faked Pregnancy To Get More Bamboo

After discovering the marsupial wasn't actually pregnant as believed, researchers at the Chengu Giant Panda Breeding Research Center in China said that giant panda Ai Hin faked being pregnant in order to receive more bamboo, extra fruit treats, and a nicer room. What do you think?

  • “Rather than admit their mistake, these researchers are willing to call a panda a liar.”

    Terrence Ward Playlist Queuer
  • “Well, it’s certainly not the first time I’ve heard of someone faking a pregnancy to receive more bamboo.”

    Kim Donaldson Stenciler
  • “Why are we trying to save these manipulative liars from extinction, again?”

    Richard Malone Systems Analyst
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