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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Researchers: Panda Faked Pregnancy To Get More Bamboo

After discovering the marsupial wasn't actually pregnant as believed, researchers at the Chengu Giant Panda Breeding Research Center in China said that giant panda Ai Hin faked being pregnant in order to receive more bamboo, extra fruit treats, and a nicer room. What do you think?

  • “Rather than admit their mistake, these researchers are willing to call a panda a liar.”

    Terrence Ward Playlist Queuer
  • “Well, it’s certainly not the first time I’ve heard of someone faking a pregnancy to receive more bamboo.”

    Kim Donaldson Stenciler
  • “Why are we trying to save these manipulative liars from extinction, again?”

    Richard Malone Systems Analyst

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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