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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Responsible Holiday Drinking

People tend to drink more over the holiday season. How will you drink responsibly this year?

  • "I'm trying to schedule so I it get it all done before lunch."

    Theresa Carr Systems Analyst
  • "Jumbo loaf of Wonder Bread. Eat two slices with every Jell-o shot and you're out of the weeds."

    Jerry Rudin Assembly Line Foreman
  • "I will ask my kids to close their eyes and cover their ears every time I take a shot."

    Jason Woolery Organic Farmer

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