Return Of The Draft?

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Journeyman Fan Joins Sixth NFL Team In 5 Years

HELENA, MT—Continuing his lengthy trek around the league, sources confirmed Friday that 36-year-old journeyman fan Brian Ferretti has joined the Arizona Cardinals, his sixth team in the past five years.

Is The Nation Ready For The Next Katrina?

Friday marks the 10-year anniversary of when Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, and many commentators have argued that not enough has been done over the past decade to address infrastructure and emergency response issues that could put coastal cities nationwide, including New Orleans, at risk of a catastrophe on a similar scale. Is the nation prepared for another Katrina?

Department Of Labor Study Confirms Your Job Most Demanding

‘None Of Your Friends Understand How Hard It Is,’ Report Reads

WASHINGTON—Noting that the level of mental strain associated with the profession was far and away the highest recorded, a federal study on workplace conditions and occupational stress released Thursday has confirmed that your job is the most demanding career in the entire nation, and that none of your friends or family fully understand how hard it is.

Neighborhood Starting To Get Too Safe For Family To Afford

CHICAGO—Explaining that the sense of unease she felt walking to and from her home had declined markedly over the years, Humboldt Park resident Kirsten Healy expressed her disappointment to reporters Thursday that her neighborhood was becoming too safe for her family to afford.
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  • Man’s Body Running Out Of Ideas To Convince Him He Full

    BAYTOWN, TX—Having repeatedly ratcheted up the 34-year-old’s level of discomfort with no noticeable effect on his behavior, the body of local man Kent Dugan confirmed Wednesday that it was starting to run out of ideas to convince him that he was full.

Return Of The Draft?

As the war in Iraq drags on, some Americans fear reinstatement of the military draft. What do you think?
  • "Well, okay. As long as it's only a small draft and then they promise to stop."

    Sara Simpson
    Camera Operator
  • "A draft would be great. Going down there to sign myself up would be such a hassle."

    Leonard Robertson
    Systems Analyst
  • "If I get drafted, I hope they put me on one of the swift boats. From what I gather, those guys are never in any danger."

    James Sanders
    Carpenter
  • "If I must submit to a draft, I hope I'm not picked by Cincinnati."

    Johnny Grant
    Carpet Cutter
  • "Well, no one is getting drafted until after the election, so there's no use worrying about it now."

    Chris Daniels
    Physician
  • "That's it. I'm voting for the candidate who would flip-flop on sending my son to die, rather than the one who'd do it without hesitation."

    Carmen Rice
    Brokerage Clerk