Return Of The Draft?

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Fatherhood

Return Of The Draft?

As the war in Iraq drags on, some Americans fear reinstatement of the military draft. What do you think?
  • "Well, okay. As long as it's only a small draft and then they promise to stop."

    Sara Simpson
    Camera Operator
  • "A draft would be great. Going down there to sign myself up would be such a hassle."

    Leonard Robertson
    Systems Analyst
  • "If I get drafted, I hope they put me on one of the swift boats. From what I gather, those guys are never in any danger."

    James Sanders
    Carpenter
  • "If I must submit to a draft, I hope I'm not picked by Cincinnati."

    Johnny Grant
    Carpet Cutter
  • "Well, no one is getting drafted until after the election, so there's no use worrying about it now."

    Chris Daniels
    Physician
  • "That's it. I'm voting for the candidate who would flip-flop on sending my son to die, rather than the one who'd do it without hesitation."

    Carmen Rice
    Brokerage Clerk
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