adBlockCheck

Rise Of The Far Right In Europe

Top Headlines

International

‘People Are Inherently Good,’ World Halfheartedly Mutters

NICE, FRANCE—Following yesterday’s terrorist attack in Nice, France that left over 80 people dead and scores more injured, sources reported that a dazed and utterly dejected global populace halfheartedly muttered the phrase “People are inherently good” to themselves Friday.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

ISIS Starting To Worry New Recruit Huge Psycho

RAQQA, SYRIA—Admitting that the recently arrived jihadist’s disturbing behavior was becoming a serious cause for concern, several ISIS members told reporters Friday they were starting to worry that new recruit Said Hassad was a huge psycho.

National Security Experts: ‘ISIS Are Fucking Assholes’

WASHINGTON—Updating the public about the deadly attacks carried out in Brussels yesterday by members of the Syria-based jihadist group, national security experts held a press conference in Washington this morning to notify Americans that ISIS are fucking assholes.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Rise Of The Far Right In Europe

From France to Austria to the Netherlands, ultra-nationalist, far-right political parties hostile to immigration are making gains throughout Europe. What do you think?
  • "Who cares if a bunch of fjord-niggers wanna go all fascist? We can take 'em."

    Chris Winfield Plumber
  • "Darling, I just returned from Fascism Week in Milan, and I dare say floral prints are back with a cold, steel vengeance this year."

    Eileen Tenace Buyer
  • "I thought France already was fascist. The French guy at the coffee shop sure is."

    Paul Bevacqua Cab Driver
  • "If everyone has food on the table and the trains run on time, maybe it's worth the occasional mile-deep pit of innocent civilians."

    Dan Eichelberger Systems Analyst
  • "Imagine how awful it would be if there were a resurgence of anti-Semitism in Europe. It'd be just like the last 2,000 years all over again."

    Laurie Almon Architect
  • "Just keep your eye on them shifty-looking Luxembourgers. They're just waiting for the rest of the world to blink."

    Raymond Fingers Civil Engineer

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close