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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Rising Cable Rates

The nation's cable TV operators announced recently that after an 8 percent hike in 1996, rates will go up another 10 percent in January 1997. What do you think?
  • "It's disappointing, but understandable. I mean, Welcome Back Kotter re-runs must be really expensive to air."

    Jacob Warner Lab Technician
  • "I hope they raise the rates. It makes me feel good to help a struggling media conglomerate get a little bit ahead."

    Albert Cahill Civil Engineer
  • "Cable rates, cigarette prices and liquor taxes are all going up this month. At this rate, the twins' baby food budget is gonna be cut in half."

    Lauryn Hill Pipefitter
  • "With my satellite dish, I can get over 500 stations from around the world. Wanna watch Hart To Hart in German?"

    Josias Manzanillo Pediatrician
  • "Did you see Sister Act II? I have—34 times."

    Tim Bergstrom Systems Analyst
  • "If these rates keep going up, I might soon have to cut back on some channels, like STN--the Shiny Things Network."

    Daphne London School Psychologist

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