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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Robotic Exoskeleton Prevents Elderly From Falling Down

To help prevent common fall-related injuries among elderly people, scientists have built a robotic exoskeleton that senses when the wearer is off-balance and adjusts to keep them upright. What do you think?

  • “Senior citizens are always the most adept users of new technology.”

    Katie Cohen Crane Rotator
  • “This wouldn’t be needed if the elderly would just stay in bed like I’ve asked.”

    Kenneth Mason Yogurt Marketer
  • “When are they going to invent a supportive exoskeleton for the very inebriated?”

    Mitch Cassidy Sign Language Enthusiast

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