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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Robotic Suit Could Help Paraplegics Walk

According to its NASA creators, a 57-pound robotic exoskeleton developed to keep astronauts fit on a possible future mission to Mars could also be used on Earth to give paraplegics the ability to walk again by assisting movements and keeping the wearer stable. What do you think?

  • “Wait, what about normal guys like me? Do I still have to use my stupid old legs?”

    Peter Polkes Ice Cutter
  • “It’s amazing to think that, with all these advances in technology, soon every paraplegic will be able to crush any able-bodied person.”

    Cheryl O’Shea Payroll Clerk
  • “Sorry, quadriplegics. Your lives will still be very difficult.”

    Paul Hinselwood Talent Director

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