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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Rock Concert Ratings

Rock group Marilyn Manson's current tour—which includes explicit depictions of violent and sexual acts—has met with protests from decency groups, sparking a call for ratings for rock concerts. What do you think?
  • "I agree that something should be done. I've felt this way since 1978, when I saw Shaun Cassidy eat a baby onstage."

    Irene Merrick Bank Teller
  • "This is a difficult issue: I'm torn between a deep hatred of censorship and an even deeper one for Marilyn Manson."

    Russell Bossy Student
  • "I'm sure teenagers wouldn't be flocking to these Marilyn Manson shows if they were clearly labeled as carnal circuses of nudity, gore and corpse-fucking."

    Dave Tonelli Paint Salesman
  • "I think those rock concerts are dangerous. I was at a BoDeans show once, and a number of concertgoers stood around holding lit cigarette lighters in their hands. It could have started a fire."

    Melissa Goring Systems Analyst
  • "Whatever happened to good old-fashioned songs like 'Would You Share A Strawberry Bromide With Me, My Sweet Pollybelle'? Everything today is about the sexy kissing and the holding of the hands."

    Ed Resch Science Teacher
  • "The only thing warning labels do is serve to make things even more attractive. Why do you think I drink anti-freeze?"

    Tim Langevin Legal Secretary

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