Rodent-Borne Virus Kills 2 At Yosemite

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Grin Slowly Spreads Across Mom’s Face As Meal Revealed To Contain Healthy Ingredients

‘The Mashed Potatoes Are Actually Made With Cauliflower,’ She Announces

VERONA, WI—Having waited until everyone at the table had finished their dinner Monday, a knowing grin reportedly spread across local mother Angela Hopkins’ face as she announced to her family that the mashed potatoes had in fact been made using cauliflower as a healthier alternative.
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Rodent-Borne Virus Kills 2 At Yosemite

With four visitors who stayed in cabins at Yosemite National Park this summer having contracted hantavirus, and two having died from the rodent-spread disease, park officials have contacted 1,700 recent guests to warn them they may be at risk. What do you think?

  • “There you go, Teddy fucking Roosevelt and the national park system you just had to have. I hope you’re happy.”

    Thalia Urshan
    Systems Analyst
  • “Lucky for me, I don’t live in Yosemite National Park.”

    Ronald Costitch
    Construction Superintendent
  • “Have they considered separate camping sites for humans and rodents?”

    MacIntyre Berglund
    Horticultural Worker