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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Rodent-Borne Virus Kills 2 At Yosemite

With four visitors who stayed in cabins at Yosemite National Park this summer having contracted hantavirus, and two having died from the rodent-spread disease, park officials have contacted 1,700 recent guests to warn them they may be at risk. What do you think?

  • “There you go, Teddy fucking Roosevelt and the national park system you just had to have. I hope you’re happy.”

    Thalia Urshan Systems Analyst
  • “Lucky for me, I don’t live in Yosemite National Park.”

    Ronald Costitch Construction Superintendent
  • “Have they considered separate camping sites for humans and rodents?”

    MacIntyre Berglund Horticultural Worker
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