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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Rolling Stones Turn 50

The iconic British rock band the Rolling Stones made their debut at London's Marquee Club 50 years ago yesterday. What do you think?

  • “They’re a towering example of how age truly doesn’t matter. Except for the bassist guy who said, ‘Fuck this, I’m too old for this shit,’ and quit.”

    Eliza Spurr Cultural Center Worker
  • “I’m not impressed unless their instruments are also 50 years old.”

    Max Ochoa Systems Analyst
  • “Oh, it’s pathetic because they’re so old. Is that what you want me to say? Fuck you—you never wrote ‘Moonlight Mile.’”

    Joe Kane Public Radio Producer

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