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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Romantic Comedies Normalize Stalker Behavior

A new study found that women who watched romantic comedies involving stalker behaviors, such as There’s Something About Mary, were more likely to tolerate such behaviors in their own relationships. What do you think?

  • “Oh, come on. Darren’s harmless!”

    Katherine Hesse Cardboard Corrugator
  • “You can’t expect the public to watch a movie that portrays men accurately.”

    Dugan Amend Subwoofer Technician
  • “A woman with both a sense of humor and a taste for danger is pretty much the full package.”

    Emmett O’Leary Pest Displacer

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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