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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Romantic Pain = Physical Pain

New research reveals that the reaction of the human brain to heartbreak is similar to its reaction to the experience of physical pain. What do you think?

  • "No way. That would mean that being in love and experiencing physical pleasure would go hand in hand!"

    Judy Halliday Foam Gun Operator
  • "What happens if you're breaking up with an abusive boyfriend? Does your brain just explode?"

    Ted Poling Systems Analyst
  • "Let me guess: It's the anterior cingulate cortex, right? That thing always acts up after I get dumped."

    Blaine Klaers Junction Maker

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