Romney Aide: Campaign Light On Details

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Vol 48 Issue 38

The Bird Sniffer

PBS 8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT Ornithologist and acclaimed odor-describer Dr. Charles Wemple attempts to get a rare whiff of a freshly hatched ivory-billed woodpecker before the mother pecks the bejeezus out of his face.

Area Mom Was Waiting In The Car For 20 Minutes

LEXINGTON, MA—According to sources within the car-pool lane at Lexington High School, your mom has been waiting for you in the car for over 20 minutes, and now she’s going to be late, which is just great.

That Chair Over There

No one’s using it at the moment. Go ahead, take a seat. You can always get up if someone comes back.
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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Romney Aide: Campaign Light On Details

Ed Gillespie, a top adviser to Mitt Romney, admitted the campaign had thus far failed to provide enough details about policy proposals and said a concerted effort would be made to better communicate the Republican candidate’s specific ideas and stances. What do you think?

  • “That’s sad. When you take something like the Romney campaign and try to analyze it, quantify it, or pin it down—that’s when you destroy its beauty.”

    Rosalie Teves
    Juvenile Court Judge
  • “Romney better do that if he wants to have any hope of connecting with the huge detail-oriented policy wonk segment of the electorate.”

    Mitch Giordano
    Plasma Physicist
  • “Wait, so he hasn’t shared the details of his policy proposals? So what have I been disagreeing with for the past three months?”

    Tommy Null
    Pelt Scraper
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