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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Romney Clinches Republican Nomination

With his victory in the Texas primary, Mitt Romney has amassed enough delegates to secure the Republican nomination for president. What do you think?

  • “Now's the moment when he's in a skyscraper, staring out at a city at night, and he says, ‘Do I sacrifice everything? Is it worth it?’ Ooooo, I love politics!”

    Tanya Brewster Systems Analyst
  • “As a Romney supporter, I'm torn. Obviously, I'm happy for the guy, but I guess part of me never wanted this wild primary party to end.”

    Larry Walter Batter Mixer
  • “This is a day that will go down in the history books forever. Because I’m pretty sure they have to keep records of everything like this, no matter how boring, predictable, or inconsequential.”

    Xander Evans Translator
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