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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Romney Clinches Republican Nomination

With his victory in the Texas primary, Mitt Romney has amassed enough delegates to secure the Republican nomination for president. What do you think?

  • “Now's the moment when he's in a skyscraper, staring out at a city at night, and he says, ‘Do I sacrifice everything? Is it worth it?’ Ooooo, I love politics!”

    Tanya Brewster Systems Analyst
  • “As a Romney supporter, I'm torn. Obviously, I'm happy for the guy, but I guess part of me never wanted this wild primary party to end.”

    Larry Walter Batter Mixer
  • “This is a day that will go down in the history books forever. Because I’m pretty sure they have to keep records of everything like this, no matter how boring, predictable, or inconsequential.”

    Xander Evans Translator
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