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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Romney Courts Black Voters With NAACP Speech

Hoping to win votes among a demographic that supported Barack Obama by a margin of 19-to-1 in the last election, GOP candidate Mitt Romney today addressed the NAACP’s annual convention, an event Obama decided to skip this year. What do you think?

  • “Say what you will, but I thought his rap about trickle-down economics went over about as well as it could.”

    Ali Jennings-Fong Geriatric Care Assistant
  • “We sure have come a long way from the time when black people weren’t even allowed to be pandered to.”

    Justin Kelly Architect
  • “I bet Obama’s just worried his speech wouldn’t go over as well.”

    Reba Buckley Systems Analyst

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